Mach refresh my memory on the last relationship talk with your W.
Your sitch is odd.
Its been a while, really. I vaguely remember her making comments like she was numb, no feelings, not attracted. But, had thought about getting back together but of course scared all I am doing was showing my best side etc, and would revert back to old self. Makes sense, I get that.. She mentioned she knows whomever I end up with will get a much improved person than what she had during our times. Lately she has mentioned how happy I seem and such, dressed nicer. Very complimentary.. She did make a comment recently about how her Mom told her to let go of worrying about my feelings. Worry about her own feelings and heal. She says she is very comfortable around me, not in a cocky way, just very relaxed around me.. I am just trying to remember things from previous conversations. But the reality is, we are not engaging in any reconciliation or any relationship talks. Divorce, neither of us will or seems too, want to do it.. Both our lawyers said to us separately that they didnt think we ever will.. I thought that was weird, as they both work in different law firms.. She chuckled when I mentioned it after signing separation papers, as her lawyer didnt think we will get divorced. Not sure what she said to her lawyer.. Funny Hopium statements.. Sorry for the ramble. But, like I said in bold, no actual relationship talks have happened in quite some time. Cant even remember, probably end of 2020? If I remember anything. Question is, what would I ask if I did ask where we are going? It seems it would just cause more distancing.
Mach, the sad reality is that most LBSs end up pushing the D through themselves even though it wasn't what they originally wanted. Having never been to that point, I cannot say for sure what I would or wouldn't do (LH will be the first to point that out!), but I cannot imagine going on without closure for more than a year or two. Limbo is bad. Long limbo is worse. I know you are still holding out hope, and you think, at least deep down, that being friends was the way to potentially get there. But you really need to start imaging what you want the rest of your life to look like, and then go start making that happen. If pushing the D to finality is a step in that process, then so be it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Not sure if I am ready mentally for D. But, I do know, if she files, it will be mentally easier. If that makes sense..
The big problem is, you and I have no idea what she is thinking and where she is in her GAL and moving forward. Other than being 6 to 7 days a week immersed into her work, thats about all I really here, except grand kids issues..
Not sure if I am ready mentally for D. But, I do know, if she files, it will be mentally easier. If that makes sense..
The big problem is, you and I have no idea what she is thinking and where she is in her GAL and moving forward. Other than being 6 to 7 days a week immersed into her work, thats about all I really here, except grand kids issues..
Not sure why what she's thinking is relevant? This about Mach40 moving his life forward. Her thinking has no bearing on that.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
The big problem is, you and I have no idea what she is thinking and where she is in her GAL and moving forward.
Why is this a problem?
I guess its the inner hopium, romantic. If she wanted to get back, and I dropped the D on her. That would be bad. Just always thinking. I have a huge reservior of patience. Its how I am wired in our relationship.
Personally I think you have one more talk with her that you either work things out or you are moving forward with the D. Not in a threatening way but for your own emotional well being you can't be friends anymore. But if she says no you have to follow through. Life is short my friend.
The big problem is, you and I have no idea what she is thinking and where she is in her GAL and moving forward.
Why is this a problem?
I guess its the inner hopium, romantic. If she wanted to get back, and I dropped the D on her. That would be bad. Just always thinking. I have a huge reservior of patience. Its how I am wired in our relationship.
Finalizing the D will have no bearing on her future desire to reconcile. This is a common fear and misconstrual by LBS. If she ever wants to R she will move mountains to try to do so. In fact, you want her to. Otherwise you won't know for sure if R is what she really wants.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
