SA, remember validation is understanding her feelings....it isn't agreeing with what she is saying.

W: "You were being abusive when you would stonewall me."
You: "That must have been tough for you to have felt that way."

Doesn't corroborate her accusation, just validates the way she felt.

Lots of people get this wrong about validation. Read the validation thread. Study it. Practice on your own.

What you never validate is disrespectful behavior. So if she starts screaming at you that you are a jerk, idiot, or other names. You do not validate that, you stand up for yourself: "I refuse to be spoken to in this manner." then walkaway.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018