Just throwing this out there, for all the good feedback. Im thinking of asking her if she would be interested in attending a DB coach. Im thinking about doing it in this manner.
Your focus is on the wrong person. Set her free. She needs to feel like she made a mistake and has lost you before she is willing to do any work on the relationship.
IF she comes begging you to take her back, she will ask what would it take. You let her know it is her job to list out what she is willing to do to get you back. When she shares her list, you let her know you will think about it.
Even that is putting the cart before the horse. Focus on positive changes to your behavior and the way you interact with everyone. Make your goals in all areas that you have full control over. You are not in control of her. She has her own work to do.
R2C, your advice is spot on as always. Im reading the thread you linked and it is invaluable. I think I have been slipping from DBing recently. I think the initial softening I have seen is all down to DBing and her more recent distancing is due to me starting more R talk, or letting her start R talk. I will go back to being more distant, but talk if she initiates the conversation
