Quick update. I decided against asking her to go to MC. When I got home, I spoke to my boys went upstairs to my room and started to read my current self help book. One of the guys at work had left his cigarettes and I picked then up to give them to him tomorrow (I stopped smoking many years ago). After about 30 mins, the wife came into the room. She starting talking about how we need to get someone who can look after them, in the event something happens to both of us, until they can get repatriated. This went on for a bit, the. she started a R talk. I should have shut this down right away, but I let it run. She was fully in negative mode - nothing was ever good, ever! She doesnt want to work on marriage, why do we not separate, she feels nothing for me, doesnt feel there is anything left in the marriage, repeated several incidents that happened over a decade ago. At this point she saw the smokes and started asking if i was smoking. I didnt say anything and she kept going on that I shouldnt do it. She took the smokes with her when she went and asked several times would I stop doing it (btw she smokes).
During the R talk I didnt raise my voice, I stressed I wanted to get my family back. I let her do 60% of the talking and tried to validate and empathise. The R talk ended with her saying she was still “observing”.
I put the kids to bed, she went out for an hour. I made sure I was in bed before she got home. This morning when I got up I saw she had made food for today when she came home and let it cooking in the slow cooker overnight
Tonight Im gonna take my oldest to his soccer practice then go to my room when I get back, not start any conversation at all, if she approaches I will be kind, generous and brief.
