Ahhh now messaging the old girl friend. Wayfarer great job sniffing this guy out.
Take the focus off your W. Concentrate on you and the kids. GAL doing anything that doesn't involve your ex girlfriend and affection. Just breathe for awhile. Right now the ball is in your Ws court and it looks like she is making moves to dissolve the marriage. Decide what you want and why you want it and we can help you move forward.
The very best path is the minute your partner says they want out you smile, say "good luck with that", hand them a box of their stuff, and go live a kick-@ss life of your own.
In that case, they have to spend zero time focused on getting away with you and can right away shift into wondering where you've gone. That's what you want.
In terms of her feeling differently -- when you first met she didn't instantly want to marry you, then you got married and she didn't want to leave you, then at some point she did want to leave you. She was stubborn the whole time, made three decisions there and changed her feelings about the first two. That should prove to you that her feelings do change, and despite how she feels now, or what she says now, she may feel and do completely different things in the future. You have hard evidence of that.
The ride is just beginning. She won't be done with you for a long time, nor will you be done with her. Since you have young kids together you will be intermeshed for 18+ years.
