Okay, so when I am invited to Thanksgiving, B Days, and Christmas etc, just be friendly..
Mach, that's up to what would feel good to you. I don't do Christmas with my ex. This year, the kids will spend the early part of Christmas vacation and Christmas Eve at mom's, and Christmas Day and the later part of Christmas vacation at dad's. My kids look forward to Christmas with me because it normally means a trip to find and chop down a treee plus a vacation--my ex was allergic to road trips, so that's uniquely me. I'm curious if a combined Christmas is a tradition you plan to continue once you have new partners. If not, consider what tradition(s) you want to begin around the holiday season?
You might ask, "Doesn't this contradict my XW being a friend?!" Well, I don't do Christmas Day with friends. For me, the holiday is about spending time with my close family. To each their own.
If you're struggling, stronger boundaries, to begin with, may be helpful.
Pretty harsh to say I dont do Christmas with friends, but its the truth.. We did do Christmas brunches, partys day before with friends. This year I will have to make a tough choice.. Her Mom just passed, and her Dad and I get along great.. So, for Christmas that will be a tough one. Thanksgiving her sister always does the big family shindig at her home. I can skip that, do my own thing and just have kids stop by on the way to there. Last time I skipped out kids were upset..
Child arrangements are a big deal. that you are so laissez-faire about all of this is troubling to me. D is about two people separating their lives. Unfortunately, that means that kids split time with those two individuals. I can understand them being upset, but it will become the new normal for them. Many here have been through and will assure you that the kids will adapt. That you are the best father you can be is more important than anything else. But that doesn't mean attending her family events.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
