For me to keep my head on my shoulders and move forward I need to maintain my space from her. Otherwise I fear I could get lost again.
Space sounds wise--I was surprised initially by how much coordination you felt there needed to be between the two of you due to kids' activities. +1 wayfarer's advice for IC to help you adjust. This is a difficult situation to adjust to. You could process this on your own, but you'll experience a longer duration of unnecessary pain than you would with a bit of help. +1 LH's note that your kids are still your family, and that part will never change as long as you're there for them.
