I’m going to give you some advice if it comes to separation. Do your due diligence to find out if there is an affair. If there is do not do the “nesting” arrangement where you go back and forth to an apartment. Thats a cake eaters dream scenario.
Originally Posted by CWarrior
1) Don't nest ("rotate the family home"). I know people who have. It's a horrible arrangement for the left-behind spouse. Find your backbone and say no before it's too late.
Originally Posted by SteveLW
Do not agree to a nesting arrangement.
Let me add my voice to the choir. Do not rotate the home. Your kids are young...are you going to do that for the next decade and a half? No, of course not. You're probably going along with it because you hope it'll be your way to hang on and in a few months she'll see the error of her ways and move back. Sorry to say this because it [censored] to hear, but more likely is she'll hook up with her coworker in the EA or start dating someone else and it'll be rough for you. Be strong up front. If she wants to break up the marriage and the family make her fully commit to the path and bare the brunt of it.
Ok, so I see this is a really bad idea, can I have examples of how it’s a really bad idea? What happens exactly? I can understand that it makes an affair so much easier to accomplish. But it would also give me the freedom to get my life back at the same time wouldn’t it? If she refuses to leave the house, and I also stay, it’d be an incredibly toxic environment. So the only way around it would be to go see lawyers and have it split legally. This would place a massive financial burden before we have a chance to prepare properly while also reducing the quality of living on everyone, especially the children, wouldn’t it? What don’t I see?
Originally Posted by BL42
Originally Posted by costanza
She promises there is no one else, and she's always been so brutally honest that I believe her.
Originally Posted by costanza
Did some ground work and found there was an EA with a colleague after her D-bomb, (so it's not cheating technically) it lasted a couple weeks, flirting via chat, but it didn't get physical, they ended it before it started up cause it was getting complicated. Obviously door is still open for a weak or drunken moment.
So now you've confirmed at least an EA, which didn't seem possible before. Hate to say it, but there's likely more. How did you verify? Did you confront her about it? How do you know it didn't become physical or that it's over?
She left her computer unlocked so I helped myself. Didn’t take long to find a chat with a work colleague. Saw the whole thing about, needing to be careful about crossing the line, the guy also has a GF, they decided to end it at least for now. I don’t believe it’s permanently over, sounds like they were really into each other.
