The process is tough. Dealing with the loss - it’s not just the Ex, it’s the kids and the family. But I just spent some time going through all the notes on conversations I had with my Ex; reading through what she said and how I reacted. I know that I of course played a part, but the truth is that she is out of her mind. I don’t have another way to describe it.
And I would think that it would help me get through this time easier; and maybe it is. But the process of feeling these feelings, dealing with the sadness and loss, a day at a time - being present to it, it [censored].
I wish there was another way, but I don’t think there is. Through it seems to be the only good option.
And space. Reading the past, I would get so confused through my interactions with her that I couldn’t make sense of anything. For me to keep my head on my shoulders and move forward I need to maintain my space from her. Otherwise I fear I could get lost again.
