Still pretty bad sitch

[LH19]

[quote=LH19]So Scared I am just going to throw this are there regarding some of the facts of the case.

Your W is physically abusive to you and your children, neglects your children, it addicted to social media, sleeps with other dudes and tells you about it and it is so bad you basically went a year without talking to her. What exactly are you trying to save?

Google search: Rejection breeds obsession

I will look up rejection breeds obsession.

Also good question, what am I trying to save? Firstly, my family. I know that my kids will be devastated by a divorce.

Your kids will be upset at first but will soon learn to adjust. If mom and you are fine then they will be fine.

I am pretty sure that the oldest will want to be with me and the youngest with her.

Just because the kids may want that arrangement doesn't mean that is what will happen. 50/50 custody is optimal.

Deep down I really do love her, but I do not want the relationship we had back.

If you really love her then why don't you give her what she wants and give her the divorce she is asking for?

I want things to be more open and understanding. I really want us to be a family.

So that takes two people willing to accomplish these goals. So right now is this a fantasy or a reality.

When times were better, she was a very good mother. I have treated/neglected her very badly.

The good thing is you are aware of this and are making changes for a future relationship with her or somebody else.

There is no excuse for her affair, but I can understand how things have developed the way they are.

There is no excuse for her affairs or being physically and mentally abusive to you and your children.

When we met we were crazy about each other. My job finished and I left her country, we couldn't be together for eight months. My mother was dead set against her, as she was from a lower income country. We fought all of this, together, until we were eventually reunited and got married.

Mothers often know best.

I really just want my family back. It is very hard at the moment. I have put in a cut off date, this cannot go on forever!

Scared we all came here trying to keep our family together. Most were not able but have moved on to happy healthy lifes. What's important is for you to become the best person you can be for you and your children. Everything else will work itself out. One day after doing all the work necessary you will understand that you will have zero tolerance for affairs and abuse. It's a process and a journey you must go on.