I have been through therapy with counselors for some time. None have given me the straight up advice and openness here.. I know I have control issues, manipulation and passive aggressiveness. I have been working it, but sometimes I forget and do things not thinking of what it does to the other person. Making them feel guilty, obligated etc...
Until you fix your own issues, any R, with her or someone new, will be a ticking timebomb waiting to explode again. Fixing issues like you mention above does not happen overnight. It takes time, practice, IC, and lots of self-control. Keep focusing on you Mach40. If the friend-zone is something you are okay with, then keep engaging her in such a way!
It makes me think of the Crunch bar commercial. The girl says "Crunch bars made my breakup easy!" And her now ex-BF sitting on the other end of the bench says very cheerily "I am in the friend-zone!"
I will never tell someone that likes the FZ that they shouldn't be in it. As long as their expectations are in line with reality.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
