So many questions, so much thinking, so little time!
I'm still trying to get around to answering all the questions, as well as getting around to giving more details on my efforts to 180, my situation at the moment, etc....
Situation is in flux at the moment, we're talking a lot more, she's in a better mood, we're laughing, spending time together, and she isn't always in such a hurry to run away from home. She even started walking in on me again while showering which she hasn't done in 5-6 weeks. However she still won't change in front of me, so there is still that boundary. I did notice she gained a few pounds in a month. Not that it makes a difference to me, but at the beginning she was really taking care of herself, working out more often, etc... that has stopped the past few weeks. She's also been asking me for details about a few nights I went out, like where and with who. I don't think it actually bothers her, but maybe a little?
Did some ground work and found there was an EA with a colleague after her D-bomb, (so it's not cheating technically) it lasted a couple weeks, flirting via chat, but it didn't get physical, they ended it before it started up cause it was getting complicated. Obviously door is still open for a weak or drunken moment.
Almost two weeks ago, she mentioned she'd go see her Dr and her therapist, as well as get us an appointment with either a D-councilor or couples therapy. Nothing has happened yet as far as i know, but she's also crazy busy with work. I'm not sure I mind how much time she spends working so there is less energy for bars and cruising. I'm kinda worried what comes when work isn't soo busy, perhaps she'll be entertaining herself and leaving the house as much as a few weeks ago? But that is not my problem anymore, and i'm working towards that not bothering me as much.
Now, here's where you guys come in! I need advice please. Our stance from the start was we respect each other and the kids by putting off any dating or getting physical until January our planned separation date. Starting Jan, we were supposed to rotate the family home to keep the kids somewhere stable at least for a little while, maybe longer. Now my issue is, she was really close and willing to start up with a coworker, so i'd be niaive to think she's not actively "out there". My instinct is to tell her to move out before getting physical with anyone and then sharing the bed with me.
What's better? Keeping her close so the effects of GAL, being the best version of me, without putting any pressure on her, etc.. Or ask her to leave because I see she's already actively on the prowl? I guess telling her to leave would make it seem like it's bothering me and could be seen as me starting another discussion, so i assume i should avoid it?
Honestly, she's soo not herself these days, that I'm only a fraction as jealous as I should and/or would normally be. I guess that's a good thing?
Or should I just focus on my 180/GAL and not worry about the living arrangements and if she's dating?
All your help is soo appreciated, really wish I had more time to check-in, its so hard with the children, work and obligations.
