Do you always put the kids to bed? What was the typical arrangement. You should do your share certainly, but to LH's point earlier, don't let her put 100% of the responsibility on you.
It was sorta shared, she at least came in and gave them a kiss. To be honest, she has her phone premenantly glued to her face. Our router has some sortware to stop the kids accessing inapproriate content, so I can see which websites are accessed by which device. She is constantly on facebook, instagram, facebook, instagram all day long. I honestly beleive it is some kind of addiction. Tonight I was making the kids lunches for tomorrows school and she was just on the settee scrolling up. I had to go and say can you please get the kids in bed whilst I make the lunches. She didnt say anything, but she went
Originally Posted by BL42
Prep yourself for the possibility she was chatting w/OM. My ExW would while we were in the same room. So uncomfortable and awkward. I probably should've handled it more strongly.
She may well be. What can I do if she is? All I can do is work on myself and see if she comes along for the ride. Ive got my cut off date now and it is making me feel a bit happier as I know there is a end. She has backed off quite a bit since she invited me to the bbq. Im not pushing anything, she wants to back, ok I will wait for her to start a conversation again.
Originally Posted by BL42
Sounds like you handled it well. Good to plan the birthday with the kids. Make sure for yourself you're not getting any expectations raised because of a nice chat.
Yes, zero expectations. At least she showed some interest in the kid. Tonight he was acting up a bit, whinging about going to a certain Mcdonalds when she wanted to stop at a different mcdonalds. She threatened him with not organising his party for him. I thought this wasnt right, but didnt mention it. In last times that would have ended in an argument both about the party and about the mcdonalds. Instead I said told him to not worry as all Mcdonalds are the same and the particular Mcdonalds you are going too is not something really worth fighting over (the second point was really addressed to the wife). Everyone calmed down and we went to McDonalds in peace.
Originally Posted by BL42
What do you mean you weren't invited on Holiday? Was this recently, or awhile ago?
This was back in July when we were not speaking at all. I know OM was in contact at this point, but I think he was fobbing her off and they hadnt met for quite a while. She took them on holiday overseas, which I wasnt very happy aboutas corona restrictions were still in place. She didnt even ask if I wanted to come. I knew it was going to end in disaster as her and my oldest son cannot avoid escalating any conflict they have, to the point of violence. However I get blamed for that, is even when I am in another country.
Originally Posted by BL42
Physical violence is very concerning. Who had the bruises, hers or your son's? This is potential child abuse.
I understand that they both had bruises, although I saw the photos of hers. She has been physically violent with me also, although no one would probably believe it, im 6ft 2 and she is around 5ft 3. I have responded to her occasional violence by pushing her or moving her out of the way. Due to this she says I am voilent. I do not beleive I am and I have never, ever initiated anything physical. Since we have re started talking I have tried to support her more with my son and to deescalate any situation that has started between them. I have commented that his behaviour is better when our behaviour is better and she has agreed with this
Originally Posted by BL42
Pizza isn't child abuse, but opening a can of beans certainly sounds like some depressed/lazy parenting. Make sure you're stepping up as a dad to help the kids through this.
Im trying to step up for the kids, but it feels the more I do the less she start doing. MWD says relationships are like a see saw, the more someone does of something the less the other does. Im not sure if I should just start directly asking her to do things for the kids, like when I asked her to tell put them in bed tonight.
I also thought there was some element of depression in this kind of behaviour.
