If you didn’t have family time for a couple of years and she wasn’t interested in you or the kids for 18 months or what not, why do you think spending time with you and/or the kids would change her feelings? Did she attempt to spend time with you and/or the kids and was denied this opportunity? The way I’m reading this is, she didn’t care about you or the children. I question any parent or person who’s capable of not spending anytime with their kids.
I think you are correct, she originally wanted family time, then felt rejected, then eventually gave up.
Originally Posted by JosephS
Again just asking and not accusing but are you rewriting some history here? Is it possible she did her own thing with the kids when you weren’t around but if you were around she avoided family time?
I think you are right. I am probably rewriting history, to some extent. She did take the smaller one to the beach sometimes. She also took them both on holiday, to which I was not invited. During the holiday her and my teen son were at each others throats, including physical violence from both of them. She texted me several times about this, including sending photos of bruises. I was blamed for his behaviour. Since we have started talking again, her and my sons relationship have improved a lot. I make sure to fully support her any time he is being cheeky or shouting at her.
Having said that, she rarely makes them food, ordering delivery pizza twice a week. Last night she opened a tin of beans, poured it into a bowl and gave that to my youngest son to eat. She does not activities such as playdates for the kids, she used to also arrange these. When she went out with OM, she would just leave early afternoon and not come back till after midnight, even if I was already out of the house, leaving the kids alone.
Originally Posted by JosephS
I’m no expert, but most spouses are still good decent parents even if they aren’t good decent spouses, so that’s a red flag to me. If she didn’t care about her kids for 18 months or potentially longer than why would that be, and why would that change?
I dont know if anything will change. I am not asking/pushing for family time. Bit I am doing it if she asks. I suppose the reasons are two fold 1) To make the kids feel happier and more secure 2) To let her see what we have been missing as a family
