Some more advice required. Every time I mention that I see some softening Im told that it needs to be consistent or that she is cake eating.
I get this, but I am just curious what you guys would count as consistent behaviour for softening/non lofty goals achieved or hints of recon?
Here is a bit of what I changes I think I am seeing at the moment:
From October 2020 to 27th August 2021
1) Minimal conversation, constantly on her phone, either facebook, instagram or watching videos. Any conversation was an argument, with no eye contact. 2) Wife spends all day in MBR with door closed 3) She has blocked my on WhatsApp, text messages and her phone number 4) Doesn't do any homework with kids 5) Doesn't do kids laundry 6) Doesn't tidy house 7) Doesn't ever sit down when the kids are eating 8) Doesn't make food for the kids 9) Leaves room as soon as I enter 10) Goes out of the house at least 3 nights a week 11) Never sits in the lounge 12) Took kids on holiday and didn't invite me (I paid). She fought for the whole time, verbally and physically, with oldest son. Blamed me as encouraging him to fight with her. 13) Constantly spoke about divorce 14) Constantly asked about renting two flats for separation 15) Constantly spoke about moving back to UK without kids and living in property we own there.
Since 27th August 2021 1) Unblocked me on Whatapp and phone 3rd September. Always answers phone if I call. Sometimes ask me questions or calls to discuss the kids 2) Now sits in living room, sometimes talks about her job. Sometimes no conversation 3) Mostly leave her bedroom door open 4) Cooks maybe 3 times a week 5) Asks me if I need stuff from the supermarket 6) Has asked to extend the rental property we currently live in for one year, rather than still asking for two flats 7) Takes my youngest son to his tutor to help improve his schoolwork 8) Occasionally helps with son's homework 9) Sits down at the table with the kids and I, when we are eating 10) Has asked can the whole family go on holiday over Christmas 11) Puts phone down or pauses video, if I ask a question. Maintains eye contact when we talk. 12) Says she can see I am working hard on myself, but doesn't believe it will last 13) No argument since 16th August. I think this is because I haven't been defensive or critical. Every time her voice starts to raise, it comes back down when I validate.
I'm not looking for a lot of comments to make me feel comfortable. I am just genuinely interested in what you feel would be positive steps and what would be some achievable goals that would give me a sense of at least some traction in any direction
