So weekly wrap up. On annual leave because tomorrow we were meant to fly out on holidays with our friends......well guess not. So I will take the time and be proactive around the house and finish off some jobs that have been waiting for years.
Last night caught up with an old work mate and not once did I discuss W or the situation. Just went out for dinner and a chat,
Babysitting granddaughter tonight and hopefully by this weeks end grandson will arrive as well.
Should be exciting times but a little hollow.
Spoke to a lawyer yesterday and geez aren't they a bundle of fun? "You need to be on the front foot and serve her papers" "Don't wait for her" "You have the upper hand". "It will only cost you $15-20 grand". Yeah thanks.
SIL returned a video camera that we had all forgotten about and it has pictures of my sons when they were 2 and 4 with my now deceased grandparents......brought a tear to my eyes. She couldn't even see me (I'll always be there for you blah blah) so dropped it off to my neighbours.
Niece in law invited me over for Xmas lunch.....like really? How does she think I would turn up knowing that W would probably be there and potentially with the affair partner.
All in all I'm getting to realise that the woman I married is dead. As I am dead to her. Not that I don't still think about her but know she is not the same person that I married. Her first husband cheated on her so I can't understand why she would go and have an affair.
Galaga, I like the GAL aspects. Not the "poor me" aspects. Our words tend to lead our actions. So while it's fine to vent here, over time the narrative should start changing.
As far as the Xmas brunch invite, a simple inquiry about other "invites" is not out of line. Or a simple decline is fine too. I realize that all of this is still raw for you so intials l obviously the idea of being around the OM is a trigger.
As far as the change in her. Waywardness is a terrible thing. Mourn the loss of your old W, but then buck up and move forward. We don't get to control others but can control ourselves. So focus on what you can control: you. This is why fixating on how the WAS/WS has changed is a bad idea. A lot of LBSs fixate on MLCs, and dissecting them. She may be changed forever, she may wake up one day. Either way you move forward and do not wait for that.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
