4 months after BD

[BL42]

Galaga,

I will take the time and be proactive around the house and finish off some jobs that have been waiting for years.

Last night caught up with an old work mate and not once did I discuss W or the situation. Just went out for dinner and a chat,

Babysitting granddaughter tonight and hopefully by this weeks end grandson will arrive as well.

House projects, dinner with friends, and time with the grandkids...all good stuff! Keep it up. Have you thought about joining a gym / starting a workout routine?

Should be exciting times but a little hollow.

I understand that hollow feeling. Hang in there. It'll improve with time.

Spoke to a lawyer yesterday and geez aren't they a bundle of fun?
"You need to be on the front foot and serve her papers" "Don't wait for her" "You have the upper hand".
"It will only cost you $15-20 grand". Yeah thanks.

Why did he say you have the upper hand? My L encouraged me to act quick too. He said in his experience the better deals are usual right out of the gate. He said she may be feeling guilty and/or eager to move on and may be willing to give more, whereas the longer it drew out the more it gets into the dig in and fight over things mode. I didn't follow this advice; I wasn't ready emotionally. I faired alright under the law anyway, but looking back may have benefited from acting quicker.

Niece in law invited me over for Xmas lunch.....like really? How does she think I would turn up knowing that W would probably be there and potentially with the affair partner.

She may just be trying to be nice, and probably doesn't know how to act in the situation. I'd politely decline, but your point is valid...at some point each side of the family will likely circle the wagons.

All in all I'm getting to realise that the woman I married is dead. As I am dead to her.
Not that I don't still think about her but know she is not the same person that I married.
Her first husband cheated on her so I can't understand why she would go and have an affair.

You're likely not there yet. You'll think you're detached and then something will surface to show you you're not yet. It's a process. It'll take awhile. You'll have ups and downs. Just know you'll get through it.