Unsure where we are going

[BL42]

BL42, yes, we disagree with each other. What you're describing is not how I treat baristas nor handle business negotiations. It sounds like you're advocating harnessing his anger ("she is lying and cheating on you") to make sneaky transfers of funds ("Transfer it into the Arab Gulf State") to win all the money ("If she is willing to give you all the money to do that, great.") This sounds more like someone deeply betrayed, hurt, or angry might behave. To me, one's best self would not be fleeced nor fleece someone else. She's done wrong, but neither is blameless. She is due a share of whatever they accrued while married. Strength--learn his rights to avoid being fleeced--but also trustworthiness.

To be fair, ScaredA's barista is not going to take half his net worth or fight for full custody of his kids. I get the cashier/barista analogy when it comes to interactions with his W, but don't think it applies to a potential divorce negotiation. I've seen sitches on hear where the WAS/WS offer away custody and people support the LBS for jumping on that. Don't think this is any different.

I don't know what his financial situation is, but what if he came into the marriage with significant assets which the UK would split 50/50 in a divorce? I was fortunate to live in an "equitable distribution" state in the US as opposed to an "equal distribution" state, so my my significant pre-martial assets were taken off the top before the split, otherwise my financial outcome would've been outrageous (in her favor). What if his W clears out the Luxembourg accounts without his knowledge/approval?

We know she is being shading with this other man. Maybe ScaredA shouldn't be shady as well, but he should understand the laws in all relevant locales, what his best options are, and plan accordingly...just in case. He's acting out of fear of losing his W and family right now, but if things continue to go south and she goes after the money and kids and his anger kicks in he may well wish he had taken precautions now.

Maybe I'm saying this raw out of my sitch - I admit I may be jaded - but it never hurts to be prepared and she's giving him plenty of warning signs.

I've said my piece and will drop it; ScaredA can make his own decisions.

I don't think you want her to stay with you because she feels trapped. In DB terms, set her free.

I completely agree with this.

Yes, we agree on more things than we disagree on.

Indeed!