When it comes to the actual divorce, most WASs, and WSs in particular, are notoriously lazy. This is why the guidance is not to "Help" them with the D. Doesn't mean you fight it or actively work against it in the case they do follow through, but make them do all the legwork.
"I need X document. Can you find it for me?" "Sorry, I am busy, but that document should be in the file cabinet, feel free to look for it."
Notice, you didn't really hinder her getting the document, you just didn't do the dirty work for her.
Most of the time the WS will just go do what they want, and at some point later the LBS finally has had enough and goes and files for D themselves. That is always within your rights and no one would blame you if you did.
In fact, have you given any thought to wayfarer's suggestion of a drop-dead date? I date that you can move forward, go file for yourself, and get on with life? You shouldn't wait for her forever. My suggestion is always one year past BD. I even had it in my signature for a while: "I will give her until 12/23/2018 to fully commit back to the marriage or I will go and file for D."
Something to consider. Gives you light at the end of the tunnel to look forward.
NOTE, like boundaries this is NOT something you communicate to her. Just set a date you can live with, then stick to it.
As far as the logistics of a potential D, don't fret that. Others in worse situations than yourself have D'd and come out the other side better and stronger for it.
I'm still developing some boundaries, but I've thought of a drop-dead date. It will be 14th August 2022, one year after she first mentioned the affair.
