That's all. Not about trying to control her at all. Tell her she's totally free. She has the WHOLE WORLD, outside your circle, to go and do whatever she wants.
I’m curious—how would you address that she can’t get a divorce without his permission (she asked), can’t leave the country without his allowing her access to their funds (she asked), and if he proves she’s dating without those being jailed or beaten are consequences?
Clearly SA's situation is complicated by the laws of the country he is operating under. I think the answer is to balance him trying to control her vs. what he can legally do or not do. Clearly, if she decides she wants to leave the country, not allowing her access funds to do so breaks that balance. He can legally do it, but should he be doing it from a not trying to control her standpoint.
Finally, women in these kinds of societies find ways to escape them all the time. The longer he tries to use the law he is under to control her, the more likely it is she will find a way to try to escape to a more woman-friendly society.
Just to be totally clear on this. The above may be my wife's reality in her head. I cannot dispute that. However my understanding is different.
We are bot British citizens (may wife has given up her Russian citizenship years ago). We are both resident of a Gulf Arab country that has strict sponsorship and residence laws. I am sponsored by my company and I sponsor my family. My company can cancel my sponsorship at any time and I could cancel my family's sponsorship. Without sponsorship you need to leave the country. If my wife is divorced she automatically looses her sponsorship as you can only be sponsored by a company or spouse.
My wife works her, so she has her own money, albeit a salary a lot less than mine. I provide her with additional cash every month and I cover all bill.
None of our assets are in this country. We have a full paid off house back in the UK (in both our names) and we have a stockbroking savings account in Luxembourg (under European law and in both our names)
My understanding of divorce here is that as neither of us is Muslim, the divorce proceedings can occur under the law of the home country (UK). However once the divorce has been finalised, my wife would have to leave the country unless she got another sponsor (not likely). So I believe that I cannot stop her getting a divorce if she wants. Although she says otherwise (you need husbands permission).
Having said that, I have no authority over her leaving the country (I cannot leave the country without an exit permit from my company). So she could empty the stockbroking account in Luxembourg (she has full access). Get on a plane to the UK and proceed with a divorce there, under European law, where she would get at least 50% of the property we own and probably full custody of the children.
Why does she not do this if she has demanded a divorce? Im am not really sure, but I suspect that she wants me to initiate the divorce so that she can tell everyone that I am the bad guy. Not that she has been the one sleeping around.
