I do not know how social you are, but If I were in your shoes, I would make it a goal to interact with everyone at the bbq, learn and remember as many of their names and "their story" as possible. Make it about them. DO NOT FOLLOW W around like a puppy dog. Most likely she will start following you.
If you want more input on this, let us know.
This is exactly my plan. I am not the most sociable person and actually prefer sitting in the house reading, than going out to parties. My wife is very sociable.
