Unsure where we are going

[BL42]

That's all. Not about trying to control her at all. Tell her she's totally free. She has the WHOLE WORLD, outside your circle, to go and do whatever she wants.

I’m curious—how would you address that she can’t get a divorce without his permission (she asked), can’t leave the country without his allowing her access to their funds (she asked), and if he proves she’s dating without those being jailed or beaten are consequences?

Clearly SA's situation is complicated by the laws of the country he is operating under. I think the answer is to balance him trying to control her vs. what he can legally do or not do. Clearly, if she decides she wants to leave the country, not allowing her access funds to do so breaks that balance. He can legally do it, but should he be doing it from a not trying to control her standpoint.

Finally, women in these kinds of societies find ways to escape them all the time. The longer he tries to use the law he is under to control her, the more likely it is she will find a way to try to escape to a more woman-friendly society.

It's critical scaredA understand the laws in both his country of residence and his country of citizenship, not to control his W, but to protect his assets and custody with his kids. I strongly recommend meeting with Ls in both countries to learn about the laws & process, and even map out a strategy for D in the event his W decides to pursue one.

DO NOT allow her to take the kids out of the country. DO NOT purchase or rent another place for her outside the country. DO NOT fund her affairs or her living expenses if she wants to leave.

She is having affairs. She is talking about potentially get divorced. If she wants to leave, so be it - you can't stop her and you shouldn't try to control her. However, you CAN take measures to protect your assets and protect your custody of the kids.

I do not know how social you are, but If I were in your shoes, I would make it a goal to interact with everyone at the bbq, learn and remember as many of their names and "their story" as possible. Make it about them. DO NOT FOLLOW W around like a puppy dog. Most likely she will start following you.

Great suggestion. Go around and meet people, make friends, and have fun without her. Do not be clingy. Do not be in "spy" mode, looking over your shoulder at her and listening into her conversations.