And I would let go of the antidepressant narrative. It is a red herring. I came here convinced my W's SSRI's were the cause of our issues. 4 year later she is still on them and our marriage is better than ever before.
That's great, I'm thrilled it worked out for you and I only hope I can manage the same. I'm sure you guys found a way to discuss and openly communicate through the antidepressants? That's where we failed, I saw her distancing early on and I panicked and got worse over time. Communication totally broke down, I became paranoid, read up more on antidepressants, and it only got exponentially worse. Speaking to friends with experience with them just snowballed.
My point is not all people and drugs are created the same. Like you say, every situation is different. One can have a terrible reaction to one and not another. Its just compatibility. There are lots of things someone can try before jumping on the SSRI bandwagon while filling their Dr's pockets with kickbacks.
Not sure what you mean about openly communicating? As I told you, I read the same things you do about SSRIs and the impacts on marriage. I approached her on it as the key to saving our marriage. She reacted the way I thought she would, she saw them as life-saving and wanted no part of my "go off them please" approach. You are right, everyone is different, but it is same thing that happens with people that come here convinced their spouse is in a MLC. And if they'd only get help we could fix it!
From the MLCer perspective, their life and outlook on it has never been better! They don't want help with the MLC because to them it is an epiphany! It isn't a crisis at all.
Look, you are preaching to the choir. I once fired a dr because he tried to precribe to me a statin when I wanted to try tweaking my diet and getting back into exercise first. I am a "medication as a last resort" guy. But that is me. That is you. That is not our wives. Again, are you trying to control her because you love her? Or is it because you love being married to her for what you get out of it?
So you can keep shaking that tree. But remember, what we fear most we create. I fear this path is going to get you to where you don't want to be faster: divorced.
Last edited by SteveLW; 10/28/2101:29 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
