Unsure where we are going

[BL42]

All of these posts I see very little GAL (I think you said you went out for a few hours one night.) So let me ask you, when is your next GAL activity? Just you going out with friends, her staying home with the kids.

I went to the cinema tonight. I plan on getting up tomorrow for a jog and I am arranging to meet a new friend at the bar on Friday night. Tomorrow with are both taking the kids canoeing on a prearranged day trip. I will just spend my time there focusing on the kids.

This is a good start. I'd recommend getting regular routine (jogging or lifting weights at a gym) to make it a habit. Getting in better shape will help your confidence and attraction. I'd also recommend some activity you can do which you enjoy and can also meet others in a group setting.

Part of the reason I am confused is that within two months of my doing the LRT technique she is discussing living in the same rented property for another year. I'm not sure if this is from the LRT or because OM has fobbed her off currently.

You say you're doing LRT but you're initiating relationship talks and going away on minivacations together. It seems like you're pursuing quite a bit, not letting go and giving space. Not saying anything to her for an afternoon is not LTR.

She seems to have no interest even in looking after the kids at the moment. If I do not put them to bed she lets them sit up till midnight. She spends no time on the kids homework, even though one of them is really struggling in school. I find that I cannot sit idly by with this and devote a lot of time to the kids, which just lets her have more time to go out in the evening. Not sure what to do.

I'm not real clear on how you don't know what to do. Be a father. Put them to bed, help them with their homework, and worry about you. You're W's husband not her dad. If she's going to go out, she's going to go out. You trying to stop her is going to build resentment and contempt. More than she already has. On top of that you'd rather your kids be neglected so you can control your W than pick up the slack and do what needs to be done for them? Your kids and you are your top 2 priorities right now. No amount of treating you're wife like a child is going to stop her from doing anything or save your marriage. Nor will it give your kids the stability they desperately need. Step up and stop prioritizing your pain over your kids.

I felt ExW was dropping things with the kids and I was having to pick up all the slack too. It felt I was trapped a bit trying to keep up things with them while she was working out, meeting OM1...etc. However, there's no choice here - the kids must come first and you must step up as a dad. Be their father. Be their rock. Take care of anything she's slacking on here not for the relationship with her but because your kids need it.