Walking off to cool down is actually advised by Gottman, whom I know you're studying. Apologizing when you're wrong is great--take care not to over-apologize for other reasons.
Yes the apology was for me raising my voice and walking off. BL42 thinks I was weak for doing this, but may DB coach says I should apologise immediately if I revert to my old behaviours.
I agree with apologizing immediately if you behave badly. My point is that walking off when you couldn't handle the situation emotionally (found yourself raising your voice) is NOT behaving badly. It's what Gottman describes as model behavior, the antidote to stonewalling--
Originally Posted by "Gottman: Antidote to Stonewalling"
Let each other know when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Then, you need to walk away and do something soothing on your own. This break should last at least twenty minutes since it will take that much time for your bodies to physiologically calm down.
Raising your voice when you're upset and walking away to cool off are normal. Apologizing to placate someone else when you haven't behaved badly looks weak. Now, if you actually SCREAMED at her, or did any 4 horsemen behaviors, apologizing and focusing on those makes sense. You didn't cop to such misbehaviors in your post, so we noted possible over-apologizing.
