I dont really want to go for the full "You cannot see other men or we need to separate boundary" just yet.
Hi guy--I like wayfarer's refusal to call you that name--I know you are not planning to deploy this, but I wanted to call out that the above is not a boundary. Who do boundaries control? YOU! Who does the above attempt to control? WE! (You AND Her.) Stop trying to control her. You don't control what she does. You do control what you accept and for how long.
Why am I quick to spot this? For the longest time my ex and I--we reconciled for a year but ultimately parted ways--would argue about what WE should do. Once I realized what was happening--assuming we're not bound together e.g. in a car or double kayak--the answer was as simple as sometimes breaking down WE into YOU and I. WE is a choice. (:
Originally Posted by LH
I would have divorced my ex the minute I found her texting my neighbor. Just something I would never tolerate again.
LH is talking boundaries. His proposed action protects him, the focus is not on the announcement, and carries no expectations for her. You don't have to have the same boundary, of course! Few LBS spouse here have dumped their partner immediately after learning about a PA. However, this is a great example of what a sample boundary would look like.
