Ok I have been reading about boundaries today. I am going to develop some tonight and post them to see what you all think. I dont really want to go for the full "You cannot see other men or we need to separate boundary" just yet. As she was the one who wanted the divorce I didnt think this will bother here at the moment. I think they are going to be more around the "Im not happy when you talk about this..., so I need to remove myself from the conversation" type boundary. Your idea above will probably be one of them.
Boundaries are not things you say. They are things you do. For instance, a boundary could be that you will not allow yourself to be cheated on again. This is how it works:
"If she sleeps with another man again, then I will go file for D."
In your second example, the boundary is:
"If she starts to tell me about how great her time with the OM was I will state to her that I do not want to hear about that, then I will leave the house for a few hours."
You do not tell her the boundary ahead of time. You exhibit the boundary by taking action.
scaredA, LBSs always think they can talk their way out of what they acted their way into. You cannot. Words are not going to help you, only actions can.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
