No I think it is more off showing her that my behaviour is changing, ie stonewalling, defensiveness, criticism and general nasty words. If she can see that if is permenant, she may make the decision to work more on the marriage. She may also not make that decision. In that case I can say I tried and have changed myself so that I do not carry those habits over into another relationship. /
This is what I am trying to tell you. You don't show her anything. You go change for the better, and if she notices great. If she doesn't, then still great because you are now a better person, father and future husband!
When you do things to "show" her it comes off as disingenuous. This is why the advice is to NEVER EVER EVER point out your changes to your WAS. Pointing them out erases it as a positive change. Showing them to her is just barely a step down like that. It would be similar to someone that has been working out, pointing out the size of their biceps (point it out) vs. purposely flexing your muscle in front of them (showing). No you just go about living your life and some will notice and ask if you have been working out. Some will not.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
