Wow, thanks so much for the replies and advice. You guys and gals are great. I didn't expect such quick feedback, great community!
I've read the feedback and advice, I understand the plan and giving space and all, it's the same principal as dating. Being cool and in control is way more attractive than being clingy and weak, I get it. However, what I'm struggling with is what going through the separation is going to do to my children. I know there isn't much in my control, but it's just soo difficult to turn my back and say "oh well, move on" when my 2 daughters will suffer the consequences of their parents failed marriage for the next 30-40 years. My wife/x-wife, has two half-siblings who lived through their mother leaving her first husband and they're still dealing with it 40 years later. It just tears me apart.
2- This is not my wife/x-wife! I'm living with a stranger. There are very distinct periods in this 12 year relationship. 7 Amazing years to start, followed by 1st 1 year postpartum, 9 months of normal, 1.5 years of pregnancy and 2nd postpartum, followed by another great year of having my wife back until the start of antidepressants. Every trouble phase was when there was a clear chemical imbalance. The person I'm living with today is wired differently, I feel like I don't know who i'll be leaving my kids with.
I feel like i can do the cool, calm and collected guy, that's who I am naturally, but thinking of my kids and abandoning my (real) wife makes me panic. I just feel like there is something more I need to do "turn over every rock". At least if we went to therapy together or if her Dr/Therapist suggested to change or stop the antidepressants well then we'd know it is indeed her making the decision and not a chemical imbalance. I'm not the only one concerned here, her parents are as well.
I'm soo torn, I realize every time we have the discussion i'm almost certainly shooting myself in the foot, however giving up on everything is just soo difficult.
