I am struggling today. Really struggling.
I have been pretty OK in the big scale of things recently.
W texted me earlier in the week on the same day.
1st text: to tell me that her mother has been released from hospital. I didn't respond
2nd text: had I gone ahead and made the vet appointment she had told me she would make? I hadn't so, didn't respond.
3rd text: not to worry about the previous text as she had mis-read it as she was so stressed. I didn't respond.
She stopped by my room in school on Friday (it's Sunday now) about school stuff and then asked me if she could collect something from the house on Saturday. It was a stupid conversation about a washing rack. We have 3 and she needed one. I use all 3 so told her she had made her decision to move out, so no. She was visibly upset, and I realised I WAS being an arse. Anyway, she also needed her Halloween costumes and said she would be round the next day to pick them up. I made sure I was out as I wanted to give her time to do what she needed without me being around the house.
I have been being really strong and hardly initiating any contact since the day she left, but today I am really having a hard time holding things together. I want to reach out and let her know I want to do everything possible to make our marriage work. I realise that by giving her the space she wants, I don't think I have ever told her that I don't want to give up. Yes, I get the whole "detaching" thing, dropping the rope and all that, and I'm trying to do that. I'm still GALing my butt of.
But I need help from you wise people. If I do let her know how committed I am on working on getting us back on track, that seems to be going against everything I'm reading on here. However, she doesn't know that I am willing to do everything in my power to do so. Should I tell her?

On another note, my previous long term partner (going back over 20 years here) has been in contact recently. She is going through her own bad break up now, too. We chatted for over 3 hours last weekend. It's good to be able to reconnect, and we ended up talking about about her & I. She told me she has always regretted leaving me. I must admit, it felt good to hear that, albeit 20 years later!

I'm not sure why I'm such a wreck today, but please, any hand hold now would be greatly appreciated. I'm not as strong as I thought I was.