Why is H reaching out? Simply because he feels like it.
Whatever specific pressures are triggering his emotions and his need to assuage them is difficult to say. You know how quickly he can and does change emotional states.
The obvious significant pressure is the pending divorce and the collapse of his fantasy narrative. Pretty telling when he only said he wants to purchase the house and nothing about the rest of the divorce.
Compartmentalization, yikes look at all the letters. Errr. Umm.
Compartmentalization is utilized a lot by those within turmoil. It’s a strategy and method of living two or more lives within one. Far beyond just focusing upon other things for a while. This is a complete shift of themselves. They can have entirely different values, thoughts, feelings, and goals. Sounds rather familiar I bet, given your knowledge and witness of H’s actions.
MLC explodes as that compartmentalizing fails to hold things in balance. Then they run. As they tire they return to their previous compartmented life. Then run again. Such a cycle. Explains why H appeared just like before all this happened. For at that time he was.
A few eventually find an awakening. A true dropping of their internal walls and seeing their lives as they are. Note: Seeing their lives - plural - and consolidating them into one. Quite a difficult thing to realize and the accomplish for a troubled soul.
Heap on top of all that, the guilt, shame, regret, pride, ego, failure, etc., and it is little wonder H is less than open about his upcoming comeuppance. Less open to your friends, and less open to himself. Still, you walk the kind and compassionate path and do what needs to be done.
There is a time when the kids will face their parent(s). Teenagers rebel. In Dad’s case, it is going to be multiplied in difficulty for him. The kids do need to clear the air and get things out in the open. And that’s going to take more than just one afternoon.
I suspect the kids will have much to report to you. Most likely they will feel they were rather harsh. What child doesn’t feel bad for speaking back to their parent. Assure them they did fine. Listen and gently guide them to realize Dad’s decisions and choices are his. Help them understand and find acceptance and forgiveness.
It is healthy when the child stands up to the shenanigans. It is most healthy when they do it compassionately. You are a good role model. They will be fine.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
