Hoping things are getting better

[LH19]

It’s tough to recommend boundaries when I don’t know what you are willing to tolerate.

Judging by what your W told you right now she’s done and has zero respect for you. This will likely change in time based on actions of strength.

What do you think you can do to show strength?

[detachA]

What do you think you can do to show strength?

Honestly, I really do not know, my head is in a right mess.

I wont tolerate her contacting other men, I know I cannot stop her doing this, but I want to show her I wont tolerate.

I really do not know what to do! What are some examples of some boundaries

[LH19]

Ok so that’s a start. So if she is going to contact other men what are the consequences. Separation, divorce or what?

[LH19]

What are you ages and how long together?

[detachA]

What are you ages and how long together?

Me:48 Wife:45
Met: 2002 Married: 2005
S: 13. S: 9

[LH19]

Yep. Unfortunately so predictable.

[detachA]

Ok so that’s a start. So if she is going to contact other men what are the consequences. Separation, divorce or what?

She has a job, but I give her quite a large amount of money every month as my salary is much bigger than her. I could say that I will not fund her going out with other men and stop this payment.

If I do this things are going to get a lot worse in out relationship as at least we are communicating at present. Im not sure is having communication better or giving a show of strength that will make things worse (in terms of communication) between us?

Should I just go back staycation and try to show a good family time?

[detachA]

Yep. Unfortunately so predictable.

Sorry, I dont follow.

[LH19]

So things are going to have to get a lot worse before they get better.

Sure that’s a start but don’t expect her to stop.

Your call on the staycation. If you go just concentrate on the kids. Just so you know there is absolutely nothing you can say or do to turn this around right now.

[detachA]

So things are going to have to get a lot worse before they get better.

Sure that’s a start but don’t expect her to stop.

Your call on the staycation. If you go just concentrate on the kids. Just so you know there is absolutely nothing you can say or do to turn this around right now.

So how should I bring this up, if I say she needs to stop contacting men or I will cut the money off, she will just say she is not contacting men