So, I really missed up last night and this morning. For all my commitment to having no relationship talk or discussing the affair I went ahead and did.
I went into her bedroom last night and the conversation went something like this:
Me "Can we talk a minute: W "Ok" Me "Im not really sure what we are doing. Are we working on our marriage or not?" W Thinks about then says "Yes" Me "We cannot really do that if there is another person in the middle"
She then told me it was over and has been for a few months. However I know that she met another man (the first time they met) last weekend. I called her on that, but said that someone I knew had seen her, rather than how I actually know. She admitted it and said it was a friend. I then called her again saying she had been seen in (insert hotel name here) where she had met the AP. She suddenly got defensive asking who told me and when it happened. I refused to give any further details. She then started to argue that she hadn't cheated or betrayed me and it was my fault as I had been stonewalling her through all this time. I stayed pretty calm, but did get defensive a few times, but no stonewalling.
I tried to lay down some boundaries:
1) I cannot stop you doing what you want, but you can have him or me and the kids, not both 2) You cannot stay in an affair and have the benefits of a marriage
Eventually this went no where and I left the room. She stayed in her room the rest of the night.
Im pretty sure she is still seeing him and they may have had a falling out around her birthday. I think this may be why she is meeting the new man, to line up the next AP.
I honestly feel dreadful. The next post is about the day after.
