Oh, kas, I hope you don't blame yourself or your mom for your father's choice to become an alcoholic and end his own life. It does help me understand better why it seemed early on you expected your kids to pick a side in the divorce.
So you didn't take blame during your deposition?
Looking at my life now through the lens of my childhood has led to growth. I was afraid my kids would abandon me and my stbxh was fueling that by trying to take them away. I'm calm now even though he's still trying to turn them against me. I've learned to focus on the only thing I can control which is me. When I'm not fretting about court I'm at peace.
Good for you on your makeover! You deserve some self care. Just let your attorney help you get prepared and then go in with your head held high, knowing you are a good mom, and you are trying to make a good life for yourself and your kids.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Good for you on your makeover! You deserve some self care. Just let your attorney help you get prepared and then go in with your head held high, knowing you are a good mom, and you are trying to make a good life for yourself and your kids.
I'm trying not to think about Monday so I'm keeping myself distracted or I go to bed early. lol
What do I wear? My self esteem is low so I wear baggy clothes. I want to send the message that he didn't crush me but I feel like if I try too hard it looks like I care what he thinks.
I would dress nicely but casually if you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard. Something that’s flattering. Perhaps nice jeans or slacks with a simple top or sweater? Don’t wear anything that shows underarm sweat. Jewelry. No cleavage. Most important, something you feel suits you, that you feel good in.
Turns out my hair is healthier than I thought and I got this total makeover. I'm unrecognizable now. I'm also down 2 sizes from when he last saw me. Less stress = less emotional eating.
That's awesome! Good for you!
Originally Posted by kas99
What do I wear? My self esteem is low so I wear baggy clothes. I want to send the message that he didn't crush me but I feel like if I try too hard it looks like I care what he thinks.
Wear something that makes you feel attractive, confident, and happy. Don't do it for him. He's not important any more.
Good luck Monday. Hope the deposition goes well. Prepare yourself for emotions during questioning. Try to stay calm and answer the questions. If you feel yourself getting angry or upset take a breath and pause a minute and even ask your attorney for a break.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
Wear something that makes you feel attractive, confident, and happy. Don't do it for him. He's not important any more.
Good luck Monday. Hope the deposition goes well. Prepare yourself for emotions during questioning. Try to stay calm and answer the questions. If you feel yourself getting angry or upset take a breath and pause a minute and even ask your attorney for a break.
My coworkers want me to at least wear clothes that fit. lol
I don't even think any of this matters. The judge won't care if I was a psychotic wife or that he cheated (true fault state) but she will care that he drug this out for 2 years while he having a girlfriend. He's moved on but has kept me stuck.
S21 caught him cheating (stbxh doesn't know this) but I also have people at work that know who his girlfriend is. He's denying that he cheated which okay fine but he's been in a relationship for over 2 years so divorce me already. Geesh.
My coworkers want me to at least wear clothes that fit. lol
Good advice. I'm on board with that lol
Originally Posted by kas99
I don't even think any of this matters. The judge won't care if I was a psychotic wife or that he cheated (true fault state) but she will care that he drug this out for 2 years while he having a girlfriend. He's moved on but has kept me stuck.
Hopefully Monday is a step in the right direction for getting you some closure.
Originally Posted by kas99
He's denying that he cheated which okay fine but he's been in a relationship for over 2 years so divorce me already. Geesh.
No kidding. Pretty selfish.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
It got canceled. He won’t wear a mask at my attorneys request and D16 is sick. These things aren’t related because he is at work. Pre-trial is still on but I’m not optimistic.
