What has happened in the last 2 weeks defies all imagination. Life with an MLC'er is so "dynamic". It never seems to stop.
I have certainly kept all your feedback in mind and started working on it. Upon your advice, I finally contacted a lawyer and had a first appointment. Conclusion is that my case is incredibly strong so I don't have to worry about the kids.
This does not alter the fact that I still want to try to arrange everything between us as much as possible, but in case this does not work out I still have a solid back-up plan.
The children are aware of the fact that we are now effectively getting a divorce, I also confirmed to them that OW2 is a fact, they have asked me about this a number of times and I have been open and honest. They are relieved. They are more than tired of the situation and apparently want to distance themselves from him already for a long time, but they didn't do this for me. H feels this strongly and accuses me of manipulating them. This is of course not the case. I just made up my mind not to come between them anymore and to stop pushing them to contact him. They are now completely free to do whatever they want. Until recently, I always asked them myself to send a message or contact him, or to tell them to reply to his messages. I don't do this anymore. I told H this as well. He is the one responsible for the connection with his children, not me.
H is monster again and his cycling is now constant. He can change his mind in 10 minutes. I suppose the reason for this is the impending divorce. I keep going and don't back down. He clearly noticed that. I can also keep myself incredibly calm, I didn't think I could do this.
After several discussions about the child support, he finally agreed to my proposal. For the time being we kept the arrangement on 1 weekend on 2, this as from 01/01/2022 but according to the lawyer they do not have to do this if it still does not work and given their age they can therefore decide for themselves. The only thing that could happen is that H demands through a lawyer that they come anyway, children are then heard but with the testimonials they can give, the judge will think in the best interest of the children and is it so that they almost always follow their opinion.
He has been coming to the house 3 times this week on 1 morning. 1 time to say that he wants week/week and that he will go to a lawyer. 10 min. later he was back there to say that he agreed with 1 weekend out of 2 and with the child support, 3rd time to pick up something. 3 times monster behavior. In the afternoon I received a message with "sorry for today, I just can't put into words what goes on inside me and I struggle with the children and their actions towards me. I don't wish you anything bad or wrong, on the contrary, only the best. That's why I think it's a shame that you think you can't be there on Saturday (= the party I mentioned you about), it's sad for the children and the parents."
I replied briefly that I know and understand him and that I am not coming to the party because I can't do this now, that I need time and space for myself right now.
Gave myself a wellness day tomorrow.
Draft has now been drawn up and is at the notary, only the house is not yet finalised. He has until 15/11 to decide, otherwise it will be put up for sale. Now try to sign as quickly as possible, hopefully the notary will put some speed behind it.
