Hoping things are getting better

[OnlyBent]

You will expect her to be apologetic and sad but she will not be, and that will only add to your anger and make things worse for you.

We are conditioned by books and movies to believe that a spouse caught cheating will be remorseful and beg for forgiveness and we imagine that it will feel great to have our wayward spouse in that place after all they've done to us. In reality they most often get belligerent and accusatory when confronted which just makes everything worse.

You will not find the peace you seek through confrontation unfortunately.

Scared, you are getting great advice, guess how we all know this is the way it will pan out.....

She's going to "do her thing" no matter what you do, say, or feel about it. She doesn't need your permission or your blessing, which is a difficult thing to get your head around in the context of a relationship that used to be a partnership. It's not anymore, and the old rules don't apply.

Getting your head around and accepting that this is the case will likely be the hardest yet most effective thing you can do right now. Its hard to believe your W wants part of this and could do this to you. But believe it, it happens. Acceptance is difficult but will benefit you greatly.