Hoping things are getting better

[Ready2Change]

Wise words:

The most important thing to do right now, and it's tough (I know, trust me), is...GET STRONG. Don't let her dictate your happiness. Create an F-U attitude that you're going to be great without her. Work out, meet up with friends, get a new hobby. Start acting as if life is great despite what she's doing, because even if it doesn't feel like it right now...it will be. Act as if she's the one who's losing out.

What I recommend is you decide what you want. Do you want to remain married to a lying cheater? If not, then do this:

You: I know everything you've been doing.
W: What do you mean?
You: Don't pretend. I know.
W: What do you know?
You: Everything.
W: How do you know?
You: That isn't important. But I know and I have decided this is a dealbreaker for me. I will be filing for D.

If you do decide that being married to a lying cheater is what you want, then leave off that last line and just stop at That isn't important.

The key things you want to go for here are to come across as showing strength and standing up for yourself. Secondly, you don't want to come across as controlling. The message to her is that she can do whatever she wants, but if she wants to keep up this relationship with OM then she will not be sleeping in a room with you, or using your mobile plan, etc. etc.

Establish some boundaries about what you will accept and then *stick to them and enforce them at all costs* it's the best thing you can do.

Prepare yourself for the fact that this will temporarily make things worse between you. Think about it and mentally prepare for it, how will you act after the confrontation? How will you handle yourself? Start practicing for that in advance. Strength is the key here.

When in doubt on what to do, do nothing. Take some time to think and make a decision. Come here for ideas.

Another key thing is controlling your emotions when interacting with her. Do not emotionally react. Use your logic and RESPOND when you are ready. If you feel your emotions starting to take control of you while interacting with her, LEAVE and calm down. There are safe ways to release emotions, just do not do it with her.