Hoping things are getting better

[BL42]

scaredA,

So I have confirmed today that there is a physical affair. It has been going on from at least December 2020.

Sorry man. That's tough. Unfortunately it was very likely the case, especially in your sitch where she explicitly told you in the past. I know you wanted to think or hope it was only her making it up out of anger, but the most likely case is she was/is having an affair. Know that you know for certain and have proof, act accordingly.

Im really not sure what to do, I havent eaten all day and feel totally sick.

Thinking about it, im not sure if the above will do anything. Should I just follow MWD advice and dont talk about it, and just keep working on myself and see how things change in the future?

I feel terrible!

I know exactly how you feel right now. In fact, most of us on this forum know exactly how you feel. Thing is you'll get through it.

The most important thing to do right now, and it's tough (I know, trust me), is...GET STRONG. Don't let her dictate your happiness. Create an F-U attitude that you're going to be great without her. Work out, meet up with friends, get a new hobby. Start acting as if life is great despite what she's doing, because even if it doesn't feel like it right now...it will be. Act as if she's the one who's losing out.

Also, I don't know the laws in your country of residence or your country of citizenship but I would 1) document everything and it may help you in the divorce outcome, and 2) consult a lawyer with the latest info and fully understand your rights and what matters and doesn't.