So I have confirmed today that there is a physical affair. It has been going on from at least December 2020.
I found she had a burner phone when she was out at work. I could see the whatapps chats from December until at least 20th July this year. The was also a note on her phone dated 6th October "You made me the impression I need to chase you, I never chase a man. Im interested at someone only if it goes two ways" To me this appears they had a falling out around this time, it would time in with the big arguments that we had around then and her staying in bed on day on her birthday, 3rd August. Also I found out who it is, I saw his picture and phone number. No-one I know, I think she has met him on a dating site. The scumbag is also married with 3 kids. I pity his wife and children.
I also found on that phone an alternative WhatsApp account, were she has been talking to and meeting other men, one as recently as Friday 15th, although these appear to not have gone any further at this point.
I am really having to stuggle not to say anything tonight, as I think this would let her know I am aware of the burner phone.
Im really not sure how to proceed. It seems even with all my efforts, she has no desire to change or to finish her affair.
I was thinking of asking like this:
Me: I really dont want to have an argument, but are we trying to repair our marriage? W: Yes/No Me: If no, "I dont think we can go any further forward" Me: If yes,"Are you still seeing anyone else, if you are we cannot really reapair anything"
Im really not sure what to do, I havent eaten all day and feel totally sick.
Thinking about it, im not sure if the above will do anything. Should I just follow MWD advice and dont talk about it, and just keep working on myself and see how things change in the future?
