You have two goals in this therapy. One is to get the therapist to see your side - you've done that.
The other is to improve the relationship with your daughter - that, you're not doing so great at. While pointing out that other people have done more scary things may help make your case with the therapist, it does NOTHING to improve your relationship with your daughter. Being defensive and engaging in whataboutism is not going to help you with her. A better approach would have been validating (which, as demonstrated above, is not about saying "you're right" but about acknowledging her feelings "so, what I hear you saying is me yelling at you years ago scared you?" This could be topped off by "it was never my intention to scare you, I love you and only want what is best for you".
Now - there are two possibilities here with her saying that. One is that you yelling DID scare her and that effect has either lasted or been called back up in the current drama. And she's looking for reassurance that you won't do that in the future. The other possibility is that her mother told her "Go in and say you're scared of him then you can stay with me full time and won't have to visit that horrible ho he's with and see their misbegotten infant".
You cannot know which it is. I'd say 50:50 chance of it being A or B. So just assume that she needs validation and reassurance and offer her those.
