So sorry Wolfman. I can appreciate how hard this is. I really can. What you need to keep reminding yourself is that this IS parental alienation and not about anything you did or did not do. As difficult as it is, you need to step back from it and accept this is what it is right now. Forgive your daughter and forgive yourself. Yes…you are losing time with your daughter but there is plenty of time left. As long as you are consistent and steady in your presentation, she will eventually see that she is wrong about you.
Also…a word of advice… you really need to stop trying to logic her into feeling differently. Her feelings are her feelings and they are valid…to her…right now. As difficult as it is, you need to stop trying to defend yourself or point out to her how bad other people are. It will not change her mind in the least. It will only seem to her that you are getting defensive because she his right. When she says stuff like that, you just listen and say you understand…not that you agree…but that you understand. You can’t fight with someone who is refusing to fight with you. She is continuing to show up to these sessions and that’s a good thing. Your only goal during those sessions is to listen and validate and be consistently non-threatening and warm. Give her a different experience than what she is expecting…every time. Give up the need to be right. You are right and you KNOW you are. That’s good enough for now. It’s not fair. It’s an awful situation but it is what it is. Accept it. Work with it. Use whatever time you have with her to chip away at her beliefs by showing her she is wrong, not telling her. One question you need to ask yourself every single time is… “Is what I’m about to do going to pull her towards me or push her away?” If it is the latter, don’t do it. Your goal is to win the war, not the individual battles.
RE: your depression. I don’t know if you are seeing your own IC but you really should if you can afford it. You need to work through these feelings with a neutral party away from your daughter’s view. If you can’t go to an IC, than my advice would be to call your local crisis line when you just need someone to talk to. That’s what they are there for.
