Wolfman moving forward2

[Wolfman]

Dawn. The comment about the bf smoking was that he walked out of their home smoking a cigar. He just wasn’t smoking it outside. He also walked back in the home smoking. That’s where I have a problem. I guess you are right, that I fight to be right. I guess I have to prove that because there is so much stacked against me now, I feel like I am slowly drowning. Overall my depression has come back and it’s pretty bad.

Hey CW thanks for checking in. Things have been really hard. I was completely hurt 2 weeks ago at therapy with my daughter. At one point she mentioned that she is afraid of me. The therapist asked why? Her only response was that I yelled at her a few times when she was younger and that scared her. So the therapist asked was there anything else your father did to scare you? She said no. So I asked you are afraid of me? She said yes. I said it’s only because I yelled at you when you were younger. She said yes. I asked if she was afraid of anyone else? She said no. You said you are sure you are not afraid of anyone else only me. She said yes. I am sorry I had to bri g this up with the therapist so she could hear it. I said you are not afraid of your uncle (my ex’s brother). She said no. I said that is interesting I said so you are afraid of me for yelling at you but not your uncle who physically tried to beat up your mom in front of you? She had no response. I said or the time he punched a hole in the bathroom door of our house in front of you and your brother. Or the time he flipped a glass table and shattered it? But you are afraid of me because I yelled at you when you weren’t doing the right things. The part that hurt me was then her response. She said don’t talk about my mom and uncle. I said I am not taking about your mom I am talking about what your uncle did and that you are not afraid of that but are afraid of me raising my voice. She said that my family don’t talk about them like that. I said I am your father and I am your family too. That comment that’s her family makes me feel like I am nothing to my d. I just wanted to break down and cry right there. Afterward the therapist said to me privately, that shows her how bad the parental alienation is. That she is going to write a letter to all lawyers that she feels that this parental alienation and we need to have forensics involved.

For those of you not going through this, this is tearing me up. This is like the death of my daughter. And everytime I see her it just opens that wound again. This situation is destroying me. I am trying to stay strong, I am trying to be the best person but I am losing. Death would be easier because people understand death. In everyone else’s eyes, oh your daughter is there she will come around. No one can understand this pain because every says she is “here”. Even if she does I am losing so much time with my daughter that I will never get back. I don’t even like talking about this anymore. It just hurts more and more. And no one wants to hear about it. Parental alienation is so lonely and devastating.