What works is counter-intuitive. Having an awareness to respond differently is important. For example, your normal behavior is to argue. Learning to listen and validate when that feeling to argue comes up, takes a lot of focus initially. At some point it becomes natural to validate rather than argue. Validation is about understanding her emotions. Arguing is about you and controlling.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712