Hoping things are getting better

[Traveler]

1) Be angry, but not rude/critical

I love this. Apply to all relationships and people.

2) Don't be defensive if the argument is over nothing important

Drop defensiveness, period? Apply to all relationships and people.

3) Always apologise immediately if I make a mistake - which I will make regularly in this process

If you make an obvious blunder, apologize! But, tread lightly. Books on communication suggest slower apologies where you take the time to understand where you went wrong, how it impacted them, and how to avoid it in the future are more effective than quickly apologizing or over-apologizing which tend to be more for you than for them.

4) Never go to bed with bad feelings with any of my family

I used to follow this mantra, but when I'm tired and upset I can be terrible at communicating effectively--listening, validating, assessing the importance of something, articulating what I need. It's entirely compatible with Gottman to stick a pin in it, sleep, and discuss the next day. Just don't let it slide into stonewalling or resentment.

5) Don't initiate conversation/send WhatsApp

Hmm. Maybe initiate some percentage of the communication (<=50%) so all the effort is not on her?

6) Give my wife lots of physical and emotional space

I love this.