I would tread carefully here my friend. Sounds like you weren't the greatest husband and right now she could give two $hits about your needs. It's going to take a really long time for her to believe any of these changes. Keep doing your share with the kids without over doing it. This is a marathon not a sprint. If she is in an active affair none of this will matter anyway. Don't worry to much about the bedroom right now IMO it's the most overrated advice given on this board. What are you doing for you? Are you getting out of the house? Hobbies? Friends?
I agree, I am having no relationship talk or affair talk at the minute.
As for me, I'm reading a lot, going out at the weekends (even if I'm on my own, I've been getting dressed up and going to the cinema). I been exercising- jogging and out on my bicycle, spending time with the kids. I've found a club that enjoys the same hobby as me and I have gotten in touch with them. I am also spending a lot of time on the divorce busting process, I'm an engineer so I am pretty methodical. I have been writing a solution journal, writing down list of goals in the DB process, all of which I have hit so far. I have been copying out tracts of Gottman and MWD books so it sinks into my stupid head!
Originally Posted by LH19
Think you need to read up on validation. you saying that is just pi$$ing her off. Example below:
W: I want a divorce S: I understand you feel that way
That's it no other response needed. It takes awhile to get the hang off it especially if you were typically argumentative and dismissive.
