My thought plan is that once she is ready to discuss the relationship, which I am hoping for by Christmas if this continue on the same trajectory, then we can discuss how things need to improve and I can be a bit more forceful in stating my needs.
I would tread carefully here my friend. Sounds like you weren't the greatest husband and right now she could give two $hits about your needs. It's going to take a really long time for her to believe any of these changes. Keep doing your share with the kids without over doing it. This is a marathon not a sprint. If she is in an active affair none of this will matter anyway. Don't worry to much about the bedroom right now IMO it's the most overrated advice given on this board. What are you doing for you? Are you getting out of the house? Hobbies? Friends?
Originally Posted by scaredA
I have been validating her feelings and saying "However I do not agree with them"
Think you need to read up on validation. you saying that is just pi$$ing her off. Example below:
W: I want a divorce S: I understand you feel that way
That's it no other response needed. It takes awhile to get the hang off it especially if you were typically argumentative and dismissive.
