We have always had a fiery relationship with lots of shouting, criticism, defensiveness from both sides. Back in July 2019 we had a really bad bust up and we didn't speak for months. I started practicing the LRT and things improved to the point that by Christmas 2019 we went on holiday with the boys. During the holiday we shared the same bed and my wife let me touch here while we slept. Things moved along rapidly and by Valentines Day 2020 we where sleeping in the same bed at home and making love regularly. My wife was constantly telling me she loved me and times where good. Looking back now, I realise that I let things move to fast and made too many changes to quickly. I also stopped practising the LRT as I assumed everything was back to normal. How wrong I was! So COVID arrived around April 2020 and we where in lockdown at home, constantly under each others feet. An argument occurred around August 2020 (I cannot even remember what it was about). The resulted in me moving out of the bedroom and starting to stonewall my wife. She started to stonewall back and basically things went on like this where we didn't talk much until September 2021.
ScaredA, I want to call out that this dynamic of stonewalling / not speaking to your wife for months or years at a time is very unusual. You're the only situation where I recall a full year of not talking to their spouse while living together--that alone would sink many relationships. Since you're using terms like "stonewalling, criticism, defensiveness", etc. it sounds like you're familiar with Gottman's Four Horseman of the Apocalypse. As you work through these, it should improve your relationships a lot.
