When we looked specifically at sending the first message, we found one striking habit: everyone’s a reacher, meaning people tend to reach out to someone more attractive than they are. To put a number on it, men are reaching out to women 17 percentile points more attractive, and women contact men who are 10 percentile points more attractive.
Men more than women, according to OK Cupid. Their research also shows that women do not reach out first. When women do reach out first they get better connections.
