Are you ok with the default week/week custody? I’m inquiring about you, not kids yet.
Now, are the kids ok with week/week custody? From what you’ve said it looks like there is a resistance to this from them.D
Hi DnJ, BL42,
Thank you for your feedback. Well, the answers are pretty clear...
1/ No, I'm not OK with the default week/week custody. 2/ No, the children are not OK with week/week custody.
Current arrangements are full custody for me, in the document I have proposed every 2 weeks 1 weekend to start with. Kids are OK with that.
After my talk with the expert it became even more clear as to why I really have to try to solve this without going to court. The moment L's are openly involved the judge always gives 50/50 custody to both parents, since the law states that children need to have contact with both parents as much as possible, unless you have proof of psychical abuse, etc. which is of course not the case.
So they would hear the children but this would take some time and until there is a statement they would have to go with the week/week rule.
This is something he can use against me, although he is not aware today. I however have also something I can use against him and that is money. H is making a lot of money and would have to pay more child support as to what he is paying today, which is a good thing for me because money is the most important thing in the world right now for him.
This is also what I used, in a more hidden way, in my feedback on his comments in the document. Awaiting reply currently.
Hi Sage,
Originally Posted by Sage
After you said 'Good morning, answer will follow shortly' you should have not said one more word until you had said answer. He is baiting you. He knows that you care about his sensitivity and his mental health. That if he shows those sides to you, not only will you jump, but you'll ask him 'how high?' I am preaching to you as if I am a master myself, but in reality I am struggling with this exact thing in this very moment. Perhaps that is why I see it so clearly.S
Sorry, can you explain the first sentence? What did you mean with 'you should have not said one more word until you had said answer'.
I'm so glad you told me this because I'm struggling very hard with this. I sometimes wonder why I still react on such messages but I guess this is my nature, and you are correct in saying that I care about his sensitivity and his mental health and he knows it for sure.
I'm also afraid of what the reaction will be if I don't answer. This seems so harsh, not answering to someones message, even if the only thing they do is manipulating the situation.
If you are in this situation, what do you do?
I also have another inquiry. Next week my in-laws have a family party where I'm invited to, and H as well. They really want me to be there but in all honesty I think I will not attend since I don't feel like being in one room with H anymore if I don't have to. How do you all deal with such things?
