Hoping things are getting better

[BL42]

scaredA,

Sorry for what's going on in your wife. We've all been there. It's awful. Glad you came here for help though. You'll get through it...

An argument occurred around August 2020 (I cannot even remember what it was about). The resulted in me moving out of the bedroom and starting to stonewall my wife. She started to stonewall back and basically things went on like this where we didn't talk much until September 2021.

Just making sure I have the timeline right. You didn't talk much for over a year? That's a really long time to not talk, especially while living together.

During this period my wife threatened divorce may times, even going as far as completing the papers but not filing them.

If she's threatened divorce and even filled out the paper work I would think this is very serious.

My wife is Russian and I met her whilst I was working out there.

We live and work in a Muslim country and me wife claims the husband needs to file the divorce (though I believe this is not the case, my interpretation is that she wants me to initiate so I can be seen as the one starting a divorce).

So she's Russian and you're living in a Muslim country. Sounds like you're not Russian. Are you from the country you're living in now? Seems like your situation could get complicated legally based on the international aspect. You may want to start understanding the law and where you stand in terms of citizenship, residency, and your kids.

So I really do not want to loose my wife, family or marriage.

I can certainly understand that. Unfortunately it's up to your W at this point, not you.

Around July 2021 I restarted the LRT and I booked 6 sessions with a divorce busting coach. At the time there was total silence from my wife. Anytime I walked into a room or tried to talk, she immediately left the room. Most of the time she sat in her bedroom with the door closed.

What are the coaches telling you in the sessions?

Also several times when we had an argument, my wife has told me she is seeing someone else, since 2018. I have not suspected anything, my wife volunteered this information freely without being asked/questioned. I am not sure how true this is as the information seems to be conflicting.

Seems like usually around here the spouse completely denies an affair until they're absolutely caught red-handed and even then lie about it. If she's telling you she's sleeping with others it sounds like she's really angry/bitter/vengeful towards you.

She has also blocked me totally on whastapp and her phone. I have no way to communicate with her.

Just to clarify...you are living together, correct?

I won't quote all the occurrences, but sounds like she's told you multiple times she's been having an affair with someone since 2018. I'd believe her. This is speculation, but I wonder if the Valentines Day 2020 improvement/sex was related to a fight she had with OM and keeping you on the hook?

What are you doing for yourself? Working out, activities, friends...etc.? Make sure you're doing things to improved your own life.

Sounds like you've moved out of the master bedroom? There's a lot of talk on this board about respect and strength. Right now you're probably acting out of fear and weakness because your W is threatening you with D and affairs. You need to flip that power around. Get strong. Show her you'll be fine without her. Reclaim some of the power. I've seen it suggested many times on here to reclaim the martial bedroom. If she wants to move out, so be it, but why should you be inconvenienced?

Good luck. Keep posting and more people will respond.